Brandon & Kristin

Brandon & Kristin

Monday, July 09, 2007

2 weeks



It's been 2 weeks since Addie was born. The past week, Brandon and I have been getting used to life without our baby daughter and without our families here. It's strange since we have no memories of Addie here in our apartment (except inside me). But we grieve what we were looking forward to, what we were expecting and awaiting. Some days have felt harder than others. We've spent a good amount of time journalling, reading, praying together and talking. I am so thankful for our marriage, for Brandon. He is both strong and gentle.

I also have learned more of how I see God, in positive and negative ways. I am so thankful that I knew before Addie's death that God is the worthy One to whom I will run. That He is the Source of what I need. And I have seen that grief is humbling, that I cannot control God or tell Him what to do or explain. I am so thankful that with Him is hope. But it is hard to hope in God and not in other things. It seems to take much diligence and training; and I feel like I am in the midst of it.

Psalm 23: 4,6 - "Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me;... surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever."

6 comments:

JoelnJen said...

Hi Brandon and Kristin... we just continue to pray for you and have really been grateful to be able to keep up with you through your blog... It's amazing to see how God is continuing to give you strength during your time of great loss. You are an encouragement and inspiration. Please know that we love you both and are continuing to lift you up before the Father during these days where the loss is so fresh. Joel and Jen

Karen said...

Kristin,
You and Brandon have been weighing so heavily on my heart these last few days since I found out. I cannot begin to tell you how inspiring and amazing your faith and trust in God has been through all of this. I wish I could take away your pain. She's a beautiful, little angel. I'm so glad that you had the time with her that you did. Know that I am thinking about you constantly and praying for you both.

Karen Berland

Hannah said...

Kristin,

Christa told me about your situation. I want you to know that I am so sorry for your loss and am praying for you. I can only begin to imagine what you are going through. I know though, that as difficult as this is, much love, prayer and support surround you and your husband at this time.

I also want to thank you for being an encouragement to me. After reading your blog, I am totally amazed at your attitudes and continual praise to God during such a difficult time. I know God will continue to use you, as I know He already has, to strenghten and encourage others in many ways.

God bless you both,
Hannah (Fritz) VanGilder

Carrie said...

kristin and brandon... i'm sitting here with what feels like an empty heart as i think about your sadness. nick and i have you on our hearts so often. we check back and feel blessed that you continue to update us on how you are feeling and share your beautiful addie with us. such a small precious being with such a huge magnificant impact. i am amazed at how God can speak to all of us through her life. and, in turn, speak to nick and i through your example of faith and trust in God during this experience. you are brave and faithful... we feel fortunate to witness this and pray that it continues and grows. we will continue to pray that God wraps His strong arms around you and comforts you. we love you. carrie and nick

Laurel said...

Kristin,
I am praying for you and Brandon, even as I sit in front of my computer with tears running down my face. I am so sorry for your loss. And so grateful for your faith. As I have been reading your blog and other people's comments, it is clear that God has chosen to use your little Addie to reach deep inside the hearts of so many people. And now it will be a beautiful thing to watch His work continue in all those hearts, including my own. Addie's life was so short by human standards but it seems like it will be long-lived (eternal!) in its effects. And God knew you and Brandon would be the perfect ones to communicate His love by being Addie's parents. Your daughter took after her parents not only in looks but also in God's choosing her as a witness to His grace and faithfulness. I thank God for bringing such goodness out of such sorrow. He cries with you in your hurt. Thank you for being willing to share, even now in this hardest time, and in full honesty, Who our God is in your life.

Do you remember being in a radio-station sponsored hotel room one summer in rainy Atlanta, having our own private church service out of James 1: Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.

May you be able to rejoice (in spirit though not likely emotion)as He perfects and completes you with Himself, as He carries you through this horrible trial. He is everything you need.

I am so glad you have such loving support from friends and family. If there is ANY role I can serve in helping you through this time, it would be a great honor. Do not hesitate to contact me.

Love, Laurel (Malinowski), now in Cincinnati, OH.

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