Brandon & Kristin

Brandon & Kristin

Monday, September 29, 2008

almost 37 weeks...

Here's a few more pictures. We painted these stripes in one of the corners of the baby room. They match the curtains and we like them although the project took a ridiculous amount of masking tape! I think our little guy will like gazing at them, too. And the picture of me is this past Friday - almost 37 weeks. I feel really good and am counting down the days. Tomorrow would be fine as long as our little boy is big enough! Yesterday, a few friends threw me a baby shower and I was overwhelmed with love and little tiny clothes. I also received a few fun childrens' books and some cute toys. I am thankful for my friends. Lastly, the little yellow-flowering tree was given to us on Addie's birthday this year. We planted it outside our bedroom and the nursery windows. It is so happy in the Riverside heat (yes, it's still hot here). It has been blooming ever since Brandon planted it. It's so pretty. We'll keep you posted in the upcoming and remainder weeks.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

34 weeks

Here is a picture we took today in our back yard (by our lemon tree). I continue to feel really good throughout this pregnancy. And finally, I can say and think that we're in the home stretch. I've been doing all the typical getting-ready-for-baby things: washing tiny little clothes, painting the nursery, looking at cribs, as well as trying to finish other projects that I know I won't get to after little mister arrives. But in the last few weeks, I've also felt the charged intensity of pregnancy #2 in the reality of the loss of Adella. I have felt sad, upset, overwhelmed, scared, jealous, paranoid, fatalistic, worn down and just plain emotional. I experienced something traumatic and terrifying when I went through labor and delivered a little girl that didn't have the oxygen she needed. It was a real and difficult experience. But I've realized, too, that many people make drastic and significantly terrible decisions based on difficult experiences. Marriages dissolve, sons/daughters break off relationships with their parents, people end their lives or take others' lives. I can either let my experience rule me and my way of thinking about the future. OR, I can allow the God of all who is kind, true, near and strong lead me and my way of thinking about the future. There is no doubt that Addie has changed me forever. And she definitely influences the way I look at this upcoming labor and birth. But God needs to dictate the reality of my world, not my former experience. I'm not sure that this will all make sense to you. It might sound strange or confusing. Feel free to comment or email me if you like. And also, pray for me, in these final weeks of pregnancy. Pray that I would trust Him, hope IN Him and love Him as I process, grieve, and deal with the range of thoughts and emotions that face me. By the way, the last couple days have again felt lighter and freer. I don't know why except that I believe God graciously gives relief and lightens burdens. Thank you for praying for us and our little guy.