Addie's second birthday

Yesterday, Addie would have turned 2 years old. I don't really feel up to writing much right now but I wanted to acknowledge her birthday on our blog. Two years ago tonight we were home in our apartment in Riverside without her. Our friends had left after bringing and eating dinner with us. And my parents were on their way to CA.

Our hope was and is in Jesus. He walked with us through each step. Our pain was deep, real, intense, relentless and at an enormous size. But there was and is hope and joy even inside of that pain. Yesterday and today, we are sad. We've cried and probably had much less capacity for the normal stresses of living. We feel heavy.

Last night, we went out on a date (sushi) and then got a piece of cake at a Mexican bakery. We went to Starbucks and split the cake and talked. Today, we went to the beach with Silas and had fun. We took pictures, talked, prayed and walked Silas into the waves. We had taken Addie's ashes and scattered them in the ocean 2 years ago so the beach felt like a good place to be today.

We miss our baby girl.

Our little farmer @ 7 1/2 months

Here's some pics of Silas in our backyard last week. Brandon's extensive garden is busy growing and doing well! We have already eaten some tomatoes, zucchini, ground cherries, onions and 2 green beans. Silas has to go outside with us daily to check everything out. He is SO much fun and ready to go. Last night when I was getting him ready for bed, he started crawling. He headed out of his room, down the hall, through the dining room and entrance-way and to the front door. Then, I picked him up to his feet and he walked out the front door and down the driveway. He was ready to go somewhere! He loved his aunt & uncle and cousins that visited this past weekend. I think maybe last night he was going to go find them (they had gone back home to WI).