30 Weeks and Our Garden

I've started this blog entry a few times in my mind but haven't sat down to write anything until now. I've thought of a few themes to write some creative summary blurb of my current thoughts but nothing has stuck. So here's a glimpse into my fragmented head.

I'm married to a gardener. Brandon didn't really know this about himself until we owned our home in AZ and planted our first garden. Since then, his love for growing various vegetables, raising fruit trees and creating landscapes has grown. I've learned a few things about myself as well since then. Like Brandon, I enjoy planting seeds and plants and watching them grow. But unlike Brandon, I don't enjoy maintaining and helping, fertilizing and de-pesting plants. I just want them to grow! I forget to water things, thinking that they can probably wait another day or two (which doesn't work very well). And I'm also very skeptical about plants; I'm pessimistic. When I plant seeds in the soil, I often think: "There's not much of a chance for this. How can it grow?" (A side note: Brandon doesn't appreciate this type of "encouraging" conversation while we're gardening together). But guess what? God grows small seeds planted in ground whether or not I believe in it. I've learned a lot the past few years and especially have considered in the last year that life and beauty and goodness is demonstrated in what's grown.

God has helped me this past year to see my life reflected in what He has made in creation. I have seen symmetry, seasons, new life and death, beauty, fruit that fills, nourishes and is delicious, the blessing of labor and enjoyment in "working the land." God has taught me much about faith and waiting through our garden. As you know, seeds need water, nutrients in soil and sunlight. With care from an attentive gardener, plants grow to display beauty in flowers and fruit to feed. I see the patience necessary for the harvest and the joy (and the heartache) of the farmer. And all these images/ideas are also spoken of by Jesus in the Bible. The Word of God uses many analogies and pictures and stories of farmers and seeds and trees because we can see and learn from them.

I have needed to look and see God in creation because I needed to see the stability and consistency and wonder of God. He is somewhat of a mysterious God but He is also God Revealed. He doesn't change or change His mind. He is consistent and generous, beautiful and creative. He allows/brings pain and trials but He also restores and renews.

I continue to have many mixed emotions as I continue to miss Addie and anticipate our son's arrival. Many times, I'm simply tired of talking and thinking and waiting for a child to hold and raise. But God has taught me much this past year through Brandon, our backyard and garden, and in observing God's huge creation.